For roughly ten years, I’ve overseen the schedule for our ER group. While we have someone to prepare the schedule and software to make that job easier, I ultimately must approve the results and enforce the rules that people inevitably want to break to get their desired days off. Holiday scheduling is always the most difficult since all the part-timers suddenly disappear, and the full-timers fight to work as little as possible. In response, we have everyone rank Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year, #1-3, with 1 being what they want off the most and 3 being the holiday they prefer to work. The only guarantee is that you will get one holiday off. I’ve noticed that Thanksgiving seems forgotten amongst ER doctors and APPs, the red-headed stepchild of holidays. Nearly everyone ranks it last. This appears to be increasingly true for the US population at large as well.
Thanksgiving in Decline
When I was a child, Thanksgiving was a huge event. My mother would prepare the day before, then cook all morning. Our house smelled amazing. From what I remember, her routine was green bean casserole, fruit salad, pumpkin pie, and pecan pie. We would go to my uncle and aunt’s house in the early afternoon, where everyone would congregate with the dishes they prepared. We would all gorge ourselves, then the adults would watch football while the kids would go outside and play football.
Thanksgiving and Christmas used to be the Big Two holidays. They were the most family-oriented and meaningful. Kids received the most time off school. They offered a chance to be with your extended family and celebrate important themes together.
In contrast, Halloween used to be a minor holiday. Sure, it was important to kids, but not the all-encompassing hedonistic spectacle for all ages it is today. In my small town, I was as likely to receive a homemade treat (popcorn ball, fudge, candy apple, or caramel) as I was a candy bar. My parents never dressed up or went to an adult Halloween party. Not once.
In the intervening decades, Halloween has (d)evolved into a commercial juggernaut where children internalize Gordon Gecko’s “greed is good” principle in order to amass a fortune in candy, and adults attempt to escape their sexual repression through costumed anonymity. At the same time, Thanksgiving and its comparably quaint orgy of overeating has faded into the background. Have you been to a Spirit Halloween store? Sexy nurse anyone . . . sexy vampire . . . sexy fill-in-the-blank? My kids received so much candy the past two Halloweens that I had to take 95% of it to the ER to prevent childhood obesity and diabetes. Despite everyone knowing better, the ER is fueled by caffeine and sugar, and increasingly by nicotine gum/pouches/etc. Anyway, I digress.
Today, it seems like we jump directly from Halloween to Christmas. In both Austin and W. Texas, my neighbors have already traded their 9-foot-tall skeletons and blow-up Halloween characters for 9-foot-tall Christmas trees and lights. We actually received our first Christmas card last week. I’m not sure when or why this change occurred.
Holiday Overload
My mother was the ultimate holiday celebrator. Growing up, our tiny home (before tiny homes were chic) was constantly slathered with decorations. Imagine that a Hallmark store vomited inside your house, then double that. I’m serious. We were inundated with Valentine’s Day hearts, St. Patrick’s Day shamrocks, Easter eggs and bunnies, flags for July 4th, Halloween skeletons and cats, Thanksgiving turkeys, and Christmas trees, Santas, and lights. When she moved back to Texas, long after her children were grown, I thought she left it all behind. However, when she died, I found an entire walk-in closet filled with decorations.
My parents and siblings are now all deceased, and my wife’s family lives 5,000 miles away. Additionally, my upbringing left me with an irrational fear of clutter and a dislike of excessive decorations of any variety. So, despite my concerns, Thanksgiving has also diminished in my life. However, I mourn for the family traditions of the Thanksgivings of my youth.
A Conspiracy?
What has caused this abandonment of Thanksgiving? In the spirit of both parties involved in our recent election, I thought I’d throw out a few conspiratorial causes.
Did vegans convince everyone to stop eating turkey? I tried Tofurkey once . . . and once was enough. To my knowledge there is no Impossible Turkey. Or have the hormone-injected farm-raised turkeys of today become so big that they will no longer fit in our ovens? Have turkeys become like our SUVs parked in the driveway instead of our garage?
Is this a far-left plot designed to erase the colonizing, genocidal history of our puritanical ancestors? Sure, we partied with the Indians once since they saved us from starving, but then we spent a few hundred years systematically killing them.
Or is this capitalism’s fault? Apparently there wasn’t enough margin in giving thanks, so the evil corporations that control our world invented Black Friday to keep us away from our families and instead be lined up all night for a discounted TV. More and more businesses now stay open on Thanksgiving Day and the day after. A nefarious plot to destroy American families, anyone? If that wasn’t enough, Cyber Monday now encourages us to spend even more money we don’t have on Christmas gifts just days later.
Perhaps it’s Hollywood’s fault. There is a distinct lack of Thanksgiving-themed movies. Halloween, sure. Christmas, of course. But name me one iconic Thanksgiving movie. There also isn’t a Thanksgiving soundtrack. I know a few Halloween songs and play Christmas music all year long. But there is a suspicious lack of Thanksgiving tunes. Is this a Hollywood-led conspiracy to marginalize and erase the holiday?
Maybe it’s the feminist’s fault that no one cooks anymore? Most women now work outside the home and perhaps want to relax when they get time off. Whatever the reason, HEB does a brisk business on Thanksgiving these days. My mom learned to cook from my grandmother; her knowledge was handed down from generation to generation. Unfortunately, those family recipes and love of cooking didn’t transfer to my sister and me.
Is it global warming? I live in Texas, and there are only two seasons here instead of four. Maybe it’s hard to get into the Thanksgiving spirit without a chill in the air and multicolored leaves in the trees. Or it could be immigrants. My wife is Brazilian and didn’t grow up with the American-specific holiday.
Perhaps it’s because it’s become en vogue to believe that everything is worse now than before, as if this is the worst time and place in human history to be alive, despite the considerable evidence that the opposite is true. Maybe everyone is so distracted by screens, so angry, jaded, bitter, selfish, and divided by politics that they can’t see that we have so much to be thankful for.
Well, whatever the reasons, I will buck the trend and highlight Thanksgiving this year, openly and unselfconsciously being thankful for all I have. I’m going to celebrate all the things I have without shame or guilt.
Top Five Non-Financial Reasons I Am Thankful
Not everything is about money. No, really. Despite most of this blog being explicitly about money, it isn’t everything. I hope that comes through in my writing from time to time. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will list the top five reasons I am thankful this year that don’t have anything to do with money.
1. My Family
People who know me well will confirm that I am different since I got married and had kids. I think that happens to a lot of us. My priorities changed from making money and being successful to making memories and being a good father. I am one of those annoying people who are in love with their kids. There is nothing I’d rather do than spend time with them, and everything else in my life has taken a back seat. I am thankful for my family and remind myself every day of just how lucky I am. Thanksgiving is another chance to make sure they know that.
2. My Health
I am thankful for my health. As a medical professional, I see people suffering from illness, injury, and disease on a regular basis. While at my age, I have deteriorating eyes, crackling knees, and a bum shoulder, I have managed to avoid any major issues thus far. My father died of cancer, and my sister died in her sleep before reaching the age I am now. I count every day that I am healthy and active as a blessing.
3. My Friends
When I was young, I expected three things from a friend: to lend me money if they had it and I needed it, to pick me up anytime and anywhere if I was in trouble, and to have my back in a fight, even if I was in the wrong. In return, I have always done the same. Now that I’m older, I don’t need money, don’t get into trouble, and I don’t fight. However, I know who my real friends are and am thankful for their loyalty. What I lack in quantity, I make up for in quality.
4. My Upbringing
I didn’t get to where I am alone. I am thankful for the lessons that my parents taught me. My upbringing wasn’t always perfect or easy, but I’m grateful for the love, laughter, pain, struggles, and loss. I’m thankful for it all because it made me the man I am today.
5. Success
I am thankful for the success I have had in business. No, this isn’t about the money, although that is a nice byproduct. I am thankful for the confidence, pride, and satisfaction that being successful has given me. I had a burning desire to prove to myself and everyone else that I could do it, and I did. These last two sentences sound arrogant and insecure simultaneously, which pretty much sums up my young adult years. Fortunately, I learned long ago not to care what other people think, but I’m grateful that I could prove myself to myself.
Top Five Financial Reasons I Am Thankful
Despite what I said above, sometimes it is about money. I am very thankful that I am financially independent and what that affords me.
1. Peace of Mind
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, the #1 thing money buys you is peace of mind. Not worrying about the price of gas, groceries, or rent, removes a tremendous burden from your mind. I also don’t have to worry about my family’s financial future, regardless of what happens to me. As discussed in Can Financial Independence Make Death Easier for Your Family?, having money can also give you peace of mind concerning end-of-life issues. I’m thankful that FI helped me set down these heavy psychological loads.
2 Time
They say that love and time are the things money can’t buy. Warren Buffet might give his whole fortune to be 38 again, but he can’t. While money can’t buy more, it allows you to choose how to spend the time you have. I haven’t retired yet, but I work significantly less than I used to, allowing me time to spend with my family, time to work on big projects, time to write this blog, time to exercise more, and time to relax. I am grateful for all the hours spent outside the ER.
3. Ease
Money is the lubricant of life, making everything smoother. From paying someone else to mow the lawn to having a second home in West Texas so I don’t have to stay in a hotel, there are countless ways, big and small, in which money makes my life easier. While not necessary, I’m thankful to reduce friction wherever I can.
4. Security
We recently moved, knowingly making a financial mistake, partly because of the security the new house provided. We now live in a safer neighborhood, send our children to safe schools, drive safe cars, and stay in secure locations when traveling abroad. Money provides physical and financial security for my family; for that, I am grateful.
5. Luxury
I try to walk a fine line between being grounded and spending money freely on what I value, between dying with too much and dying with zero. As demonstrated by my daily driver, we don’t live extravagant lives, but we do indulge in occasional luxuries. Whether it’s omakase sushi with the wife, front-row seats at a concert, or an upgrade to business class, I am thankful for the little luxuries in my life.
Conclusion
ER doctors and nurses are used to working the holidays. It’s just part of the job. Fortunately, the ER stars have aligned this year, and although I work Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday this week, I am off on Thanksgiving Day. My family will make the journey to W. Texas to visit me during the holiday, so while our dinner will come from HEB, the feelings, sentiments, and joy will be reminiscent of the Thanksgivings of my youth.
I have so much for which to be thankful. We all do. One of the things that working in the ER for 20 years has taught me is it could always be worse. If you think you are sick, someone else is sicker. If you feel your life is bad, someone else would gladly trade you.
I am thankful for the things that money buys and things that have nothing to do with my finances – the two work together to bring me happiness and gratitude. Age and children have changed my perspective, yet money has allowed me to analyze, appreciate, and apply that perspective.
I encourage you to also buck the trend by unabashedly celebrating Thanksgiving this year. Whether you are with your family or not, state out loud why you are thankful on Thursday. Regardless of where you are on your financial journey, you have things for which to be grateful. Celebrate your wins, however small. Celebrate your losses for the wisdom and experience they provide, for the chance you have to grow and improve. Most importantly, celebrate your family – whether you are with them physically or in spirit. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
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